Hi to anyone who actually wants to read this blog. For those of you who connected from alonelylife.com, that's awesome and I'm glad I'm not completely invisible on those forums anymore! For those of you who don't go to those forums most likely don't know why I'm including that statement here or somebody from there may not know. In either case, I'm explaining. The first post I ever posted on that forum was... exactly made 56 minutes ago when I typed the number of minutes. For those of you I've known for years, I love you, you know I do, and it means a lot to me that you're reading up on how I'm doing.
For those who don't know, my name is Nathan and I hate my life. But that's where this blog comes in. Mopsy Face is dedicated to one thing, me being happy in life. I'm going to do things that I don't do normally, or haven't done but wanted to, or anything that makes me happy.
Anyway, more intro about me. I'm Nathan, I'm a Computer Science undergraduate at the University of Iowa. I'm originally from Madison, Wisconsin and I don't like apologizing for who I am. I'm a blunt, fairly arrogant, narcissistic, mean-spirited person with an inner core which is calm, nice, funny, and nougaty. Generally if I'm teasing someone, it means I like them, it's kind of how our family was raised. I have a sister and brother both of whom I love dearly for their quirks. One for the absolute hatred of marinara sauce and one for their chickens. I, to demonstrate my own quirks, am impossible to actually get ahold of if I don't know that you've attempted to get ahold of me. The best way to reach me is to reach someone who knows me and sees me daily.
I've been through what I think is a lot in my life already, despite my just being at the edge of 19 turning 20. When I was young I was diagnosed with hepatitis of an unknown origin. When the biopsy of my liver (I don't really remember why my liver) came back clean we thought I was done with that whole event just to find out I needed a bone marrow transplant (facilitated by my brother). This all happened when I was about 9-10 and it didn't take a toll on me at the time, but I walked away from what I now view as a close encounter with death with more than one piece of luggage. There are specific scenes which pop up that make me really dive down in mood quickly. When I was in high school I considered suicide on essentially a daily basis and still to this day can't remember a single time from 12-18 that I felt really, really happy. I started doing quite a few drugs and drinking quite a bit when I turned 19 and still do a bit.
Currently I go to a counselor on a weekly basis and am scheduled to start working with a psychiatrist in November. I've essentially decided I wanted to start going to group therapy as well. I've joined a community for lonely people online and I've started this blog so people I care about can keep tabs on how I'm doing.
Finally, the future, well... I don't know what it holds, but I hope it makes both me and you happy. :)
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