Friday, October 30, 2009
The second morning
Well, I did have a really, really amazing day yesterday. It was one of the best days I've had in years, maybe even -the- best. But something is odd. I woke up today, and I felt like I was right back in depression. But good news! My friend's girlfriend who is ALSO my friend (at least I really hope) is coming this weekend! I'm going to be busy doing a lot of Chinese and a lot of math, but hopefully I can enjoy this weekend. Oh, and I also happened to get into contact with a girl who I had a wild night with once and we might be going out for coffee. You know, writing things down puts things in perspective. I think I'll be just fine. :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I'm a swarm poster
Yay for people actually having good music suggestions for me. Frank Turner, go look. Plus, this song makes today feel even more epic now.
A start!
I decided that one of the things which will make me happy is to get back into writing. I've always loved it and I haven't done any of it in a couple years. I figured I'd start easy. No, not really, my first idea came into my head back when our cat got out this last Friday. It's going to be called Reuben. A story about a soul searching man who finds a cat and starts living his life finally, but then once the cat runs away he realizes that he really started living when he started trying to live. Kind of a cheesy story, I will admit, but I think it will be fun, and more importantly, it will give me something to do for the last few days of my sickness.
It all started about three weeks ago when I got a headache on Monday. Come Tuesday, my headache has turned into extreme fatigue and nausea. I call our Student Health Services only to hear on the phone from a nurse that it sounds like I have H1N1. Or at least symptoms of the swine flu. I hung up, said thank you, and wasn't convinced at all. That brings us to this last week on Thursday when I went into the hospital with the same symptoms that I had on the Thursday before that. I get there, go through the entire process, and find out that the woman who's talking to me, hasn't got a clue what I have either, though it is clear that I'm sick. And this week, that fatigue and nausea have been joined by sore throat. It's been an awesome three weeks of being sick.
I've missed 2 tests in Chinese, 1 in Discrete Structures, 1 in Object-Oriented Programming, and I have a pile of homework for each of my classes to turn in as well as forms saying that I had flu like symptoms and then photocopies of the policy and business card I was given to prove that I actually went to the doctor. Combine all of that with the fact that this weekend is Halloween, I do believe we have a regular stress pile.
Normally I wouldn't go out for Halloween, but since this next year is going to be about making me happy, here's my new plan for Saturday night. Instead of going to any parties or anything like that on Halloween, I'm going to go for a long walk next to the cemetery near my house.
While I wait in the meantime, it's going to be cleaning and assembling of homework for me.
It all started about three weeks ago when I got a headache on Monday. Come Tuesday, my headache has turned into extreme fatigue and nausea. I call our Student Health Services only to hear on the phone from a nurse that it sounds like I have H1N1. Or at least symptoms of the swine flu. I hung up, said thank you, and wasn't convinced at all. That brings us to this last week on Thursday when I went into the hospital with the same symptoms that I had on the Thursday before that. I get there, go through the entire process, and find out that the woman who's talking to me, hasn't got a clue what I have either, though it is clear that I'm sick. And this week, that fatigue and nausea have been joined by sore throat. It's been an awesome three weeks of being sick.
I've missed 2 tests in Chinese, 1 in Discrete Structures, 1 in Object-Oriented Programming, and I have a pile of homework for each of my classes to turn in as well as forms saying that I had flu like symptoms and then photocopies of the policy and business card I was given to prove that I actually went to the doctor. Combine all of that with the fact that this weekend is Halloween, I do believe we have a regular stress pile.
Normally I wouldn't go out for Halloween, but since this next year is going to be about making me happy, here's my new plan for Saturday night. Instead of going to any parties or anything like that on Halloween, I'm going to go for a long walk next to the cemetery near my house.
While I wait in the meantime, it's going to be cleaning and assembling of homework for me.
M.P.P.F (Mopsy, Past, Present, Future)
Hi to anyone who actually wants to read this blog. For those of you who connected from alonelylife.com, that's awesome and I'm glad I'm not completely invisible on those forums anymore! For those of you who don't go to those forums most likely don't know why I'm including that statement here or somebody from there may not know. In either case, I'm explaining. The first post I ever posted on that forum was... exactly made 56 minutes ago when I typed the number of minutes. For those of you I've known for years, I love you, you know I do, and it means a lot to me that you're reading up on how I'm doing.
For those who don't know, my name is Nathan and I hate my life. But that's where this blog comes in. Mopsy Face is dedicated to one thing, me being happy in life. I'm going to do things that I don't do normally, or haven't done but wanted to, or anything that makes me happy.
Anyway, more intro about me. I'm Nathan, I'm a Computer Science undergraduate at the University of Iowa. I'm originally from Madison, Wisconsin and I don't like apologizing for who I am. I'm a blunt, fairly arrogant, narcissistic, mean-spirited person with an inner core which is calm, nice, funny, and nougaty. Generally if I'm teasing someone, it means I like them, it's kind of how our family was raised. I have a sister and brother both of whom I love dearly for their quirks. One for the absolute hatred of marinara sauce and one for their chickens. I, to demonstrate my own quirks, am impossible to actually get ahold of if I don't know that you've attempted to get ahold of me. The best way to reach me is to reach someone who knows me and sees me daily.
I've been through what I think is a lot in my life already, despite my just being at the edge of 19 turning 20. When I was young I was diagnosed with hepatitis of an unknown origin. When the biopsy of my liver (I don't really remember why my liver) came back clean we thought I was done with that whole event just to find out I needed a bone marrow transplant (facilitated by my brother). This all happened when I was about 9-10 and it didn't take a toll on me at the time, but I walked away from what I now view as a close encounter with death with more than one piece of luggage. There are specific scenes which pop up that make me really dive down in mood quickly. When I was in high school I considered suicide on essentially a daily basis and still to this day can't remember a single time from 12-18 that I felt really, really happy. I started doing quite a few drugs and drinking quite a bit when I turned 19 and still do a bit.
Currently I go to a counselor on a weekly basis and am scheduled to start working with a psychiatrist in November. I've essentially decided I wanted to start going to group therapy as well. I've joined a community for lonely people online and I've started this blog so people I care about can keep tabs on how I'm doing.
Finally, the future, well... I don't know what it holds, but I hope it makes both me and you happy. :)
For those who don't know, my name is Nathan and I hate my life. But that's where this blog comes in. Mopsy Face is dedicated to one thing, me being happy in life. I'm going to do things that I don't do normally, or haven't done but wanted to, or anything that makes me happy.
Anyway, more intro about me. I'm Nathan, I'm a Computer Science undergraduate at the University of Iowa. I'm originally from Madison, Wisconsin and I don't like apologizing for who I am. I'm a blunt, fairly arrogant, narcissistic, mean-spirited person with an inner core which is calm, nice, funny, and nougaty. Generally if I'm teasing someone, it means I like them, it's kind of how our family was raised. I have a sister and brother both of whom I love dearly for their quirks. One for the absolute hatred of marinara sauce and one for their chickens. I, to demonstrate my own quirks, am impossible to actually get ahold of if I don't know that you've attempted to get ahold of me. The best way to reach me is to reach someone who knows me and sees me daily.
I've been through what I think is a lot in my life already, despite my just being at the edge of 19 turning 20. When I was young I was diagnosed with hepatitis of an unknown origin. When the biopsy of my liver (I don't really remember why my liver) came back clean we thought I was done with that whole event just to find out I needed a bone marrow transplant (facilitated by my brother). This all happened when I was about 9-10 and it didn't take a toll on me at the time, but I walked away from what I now view as a close encounter with death with more than one piece of luggage. There are specific scenes which pop up that make me really dive down in mood quickly. When I was in high school I considered suicide on essentially a daily basis and still to this day can't remember a single time from 12-18 that I felt really, really happy. I started doing quite a few drugs and drinking quite a bit when I turned 19 and still do a bit.
Currently I go to a counselor on a weekly basis and am scheduled to start working with a psychiatrist in November. I've essentially decided I wanted to start going to group therapy as well. I've joined a community for lonely people online and I've started this blog so people I care about can keep tabs on how I'm doing.
Finally, the future, well... I don't know what it holds, but I hope it makes both me and you happy. :)
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